I Feel a Song Going Off

Many, many, many, many years ago, my dear friend Colin and I penned a musical review with songs originally written by John Junkin and Barry Cryer, for a radio comedy called ‘Hello Cheeky’ with music by Dennis King of ‘Black Beauty’ fame. We both wrote a couple of songs each just for good measure. I’ve just finished reading it again and thought I’d give my offering an outing. You’ll have to make up your own tune.

The Transplant Song

I'm hoping when I'm gone that they'll preserve me
In jars upon the shelf for all to see
And there in pride of place, I know they'll find a space
For the treasured prize with which I used to pee,
With one deft snip they'll whip out all my pipework
And display it like a garland on a tree
Then the heart, the brain and spine
Will be dissected in due time
But they won't be getting all of this for free,
Because I'm flogging all my body parts for science
In the hope that they'll be useful when I'm gone
So when I drop dead and deliver
I'll get ten quid for my liver
And my Larynx will be going for a song,
Fifty pence a piece for both my kidneys
And thirty pence a piece for both my eyes
And when they've finally done
All that's left will be my bum
And the staff canteen will use that up for pies

Yes, when they've finally done
All that's left will be my bum
And the staff canteen will use that up for pies

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