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The Bell Rope Song

Another song from the fetid depths of my cranium. As usual, full of double entendre. This song is a pastiche of a George Formby song called ‘Little Stick of Blackpool Rock’. If you have a listen to that song on YouTube and then read these lyrics, then you’ll get a flavour of how my song will sound. Of course I will have to difference it as I believe that the Formby song is still in copywrite.

Bell Rope Song

(Coda)           Just because I ring these bells daily every hour

Slowly            Doesn’t mean that I’m confined, a prisoner of this tower

                        There’s lots of other things to do to pass the time away

                        So, let me give you an idea of how I pass my day

Rocky:           I dragged a lady off the street and up to my tower

Fast                I chased her up and down the stairs for over an hour

                        She said can we continue after we’ve had a shower

                        Well what can you answer to that?

                        I took a lady holidaying down on the sand

                        I let her grip my bell rope really tight in her hand

                        She said it’s long and thick and warm, isn’t it grand

                        Well what can you answer to that?

                        Every day I’m pulling away, my how I do perspire

                        The friction caused from pulling so fast

                        It’s a wonder I don’t catch fire.

                        I met another ringer whilst out doing some chores

                        We stopped and had a natter and a bite out of doors

                        He said I’ll let you pull mine if you let me pull yours

                        Well what do you answer to that?

                        I started giving lessons with myself at the hub

                        We’d round off all the sessions with a drink at the pub

                        The barmaid asked if I could get her into the club

                        Well what can you answer to that?

(Music break)

                        People ask me how do I cope?

                        Pulling with all my might

                        Well, I don’t mind if I pull all day

                        As long as I hold on tight.

 A lady joined the other day, she’d not pulled before

 She tugged so hard and mightily her feet left the floor

 She said “My wrist is aching, and my hand is quite sore”

 Well what can you answer to that?

 A lady pulled a bit too hard and had a mishap

 Her rope got disentangled and it fell through the gap

 She asked if I could help her slip it back in her flap

 Well what can you answer to that?

 Every day I polish my bells

 My how I make them gleam

 Rubbing wax on to the bell ends

 Really brings up the sheen.

 I brewed us all a cocoa and we all had a mug

 The ladies lined up nicely on the edge of the rug

 I passed my rope amongst them and they all had a tug

 Well what can you answer to that?

 A lady viewing from the crowd stepped out of the throng

 She liked the way I made the bell sound just like a gong

 She said I like your clappers and magnificent dong

 Well what can you answer?

 What can you answer?

 What can you answer?

 To that……….


Published by crispinunderfelt

All round good egg. Humanist and red wine drinker.

2 thoughts on “The Bell Rope Song

  1. Hee hee! I’d say the entendres were far greater than double! George Formby was managed by his wife and he wrote none of his famous songs. His wife, however, told all writers that they must give Formby 50/50 on the songwriting credits for anything he performed. For most impoverished writers 50% of something was better than 100% of nothing…


    1. You are not wrong. His Mrs was a tartar… She kept an eye on him especially where other women were concerned and insisted in being on the set with him and in some of his film. Truth is, she made him into the massive star that he was. It didn’t take long once she’d snuffed it for him to get engaged to another woman.

      Liked by 1 person

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