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Another Song

As you, my half dozen followers thought the previous song worthy of a read, here is another for your delectation… I’ve called this ‘Frollo’s Song’. Claude Frollo is the main antagonist in the hunchback story, and it is he who takes the abandoned baby Quasimodo into his care. Quasimodo gets slightly miffed with him at the end of the real novel and throws Frollo to his death from the bell tower. It’s a happy little tale!

I wrote this as a pastiche of the song ‘Monster Mash’ featuring Bobby Boris Picket. So try to imagine Bobby singing this with a chorus of doo wop singers providing the backing.

Frollo’s Song

(Pastiche on Monster Mash)

Frollo:              I took him in when he was a lad

                        I called him son and he called me dad

                        But as he grew up, his eyes got bolder

                        And he grew a great lump on his left shoulder

Chorus:            He grew a lump

Frollo:              Not a pimple or a boil or a cyst

 Chorus:           He grew a lump

Frollo:              That no cream could cure or resist

Chorus:            He grew a lump

Frollo:              It seemed to grow right before my eyes

Chorus:            He grew a lump, a bump

Frollo:              That was attractive to flies!

Frollo:              When I took him out walking late at night

                        The people that we met got an awful fright

                        The comments that they made as we met in the fog

                        Like, “Where’d you get the Monkey?”

                        Or “Can I stroke your dog?”


                        On his first day at school, his teacher made a gaff

                        But after Quasies tears, we all had a laugh

                        He said as he noticed the lump on his back

                        There’s a peg on the wall for your son’s rucksack


                        The neighbours would often congregate on the porch

                        With an assortment of tools and a flaming hot torch

                        Intent on burning my son as a witch

                        You see, for ugly people life can be such a bitch


                        So, I decided to hide him away from the mob

                        Not because he’s ugly, it’s just that I am a snob

                        folks may have thought him the fruit of my seed

                        And besides, the greedy bastard cost a fortune to feed

(Spoken)          I’m not kidding, he was eating for four!

Frollo:              With his penchant for drooling and creating bad smells

I got him a job upstairs on the bells

They started him working on minimum pay

Ringing’ dem bells on the hour every day

Chorus:            He rang dem bells

Frollo:              He rang dem bells to bring the Monks from their cells

Chorus:            He rang dem bells

Frollo:              He rang dem bells and created bad smells

Chorus:            He rang dem bells

Frollo:              On a diet of cabbage and beer

Chorus:            And that is why no-one ever went near

Frollo:              But now times are changing and Quasi might find

                        A girlfriend or partner, but they’d have to be blind

                        And devoid of nostrils and possibly both arms

                        To enjoy the attractions of his odious charms

Chorus:            The bloke stinks

Frollo:              Yes, he does, he really pen & inks

Chorus:            His breath reeks

Frollo:              He curdles milk every time that he speaks

Chorus:            He’s got no style

Frollo:              You can smell him for over a mile

Note:  Another verse or chorus needed to finish with a play out)


Published by crispinunderfelt

All round good egg. Humanist and red wine drinker.

9 thoughts on “Another Song

  1. Well the time has passed by and Quasi is a ringer,
    Although no-one can deny it – he still remains a minger.
    He’s thick as mud and smelly as a skunk
    With more loose marbles than an evening of Ker-Plunk.

    I’ll get me coat…

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Strangely, I read through ‘I Feel A Song Going Off’ the other day. I really wish we’d pushed on with that! Like everything, its time is now gone, but what a waste! Push on with your musical Mr Underfelt. Get it on.

        Liked by 2 people

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