Daylight robbery

He’d only gone in for his Baccy

When the robber came in through the door

“Give me the money you Mo Fo,

The rest of you, down on the floor”

He’d never been much of a hero

But he’d left a pan boiling away

So while the bad lad was distracted

He slid past the cold meats display

He grabbed at a massive salami

Then leapt from the frozen meat aisle

He beat him until he stopped breathing

And then he stood back with a smile

The camera crew stood in amazement

He’d just killed the shows leading man

They were filming a crime re-enactment

For Crimewatch on BBC1

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